Tuesday, April 14, 2009

trash maths review in skateboarders journal

yes strange but true,
review by ben michell

Trash Maths 1, 2, & 3

As a general rule zines and maths text books suck balls. Big hairy syphillitic balls. yeah that's right, one's with syphillis on them.

So how is it that a zine posing as a maths text book is bordering on absolute fucking genius? It could be that your maths text book was never written with a dedication inside the front cover declaring it to be, "more mathematics for the lazy, the marginalised and the down at heel citizens of the world, it's ok I'm here to help."

Or it could be that all those stupid examples from math texts using trains and council workers digging holes are just useless and boring to boot? Not to mention barely credible - have you ever seen a council worker actually working?

Whereas Trash Maths uses real life and somewhat believable situations like this one about our new 'friend' Ahmed.

Ahmed is an illegal immigrant and gave his 'boss' his passport so he could work off his fare. If he needs to make $5000 for a ride in a shitty, leaky boat to Australia and his 'boss' is paying him $2.50 an hour, how long will Ahmed have to work before he gets his passport back?

See, maths isn't so boring when real life situations are used. Inherently more memorable than all that shit about trains travelling in opposite directions too. Who gives a shit about trains anyway? Your slightly retarded cousin doesn't count, I don't care how much he knows about fucking trains. *

I'm sure there's been some research done on how kids retain learning much better if it's fun and Trash Maths is nothing if it ain't fun. Which must be said is worlds away from any maths text book let alone poxy zine you've ever read. This includes the one your zitty sister is crying over in her bedroom right now, wallowing in her Smiths-induced stupor.*

Which is how Sheryl the masseuse spent her lonely teenage years before realising she could get $75 for every client. If Sheryl has 5 clients a day and pays 10% GST plus $20 to the house per job, how much will Sheryl make in a week?

As if that bitch pays tax, and if you take into account "Lonely Ron" one of her regulars, Sheryl could clear at least $1500 a week.

So that brings us back to our new 'friend' Ahmed. It would've taken him 2000 hours to get his passport back. But Ahmed is a hard cunt from Beirut who ended up stabbing his boss and taking his passport back by force.

* I don't mean to keep hanging shit on your family but you must admit your sister's zine is pretty lame and I challenge any one to show me someone who loves trains that isn't 'feeble minded'

For more general trash go take a look at www.dualplover.com

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